Woke up this morning. . .

I woke up this morning and couldn't wait to be a husband. It is usually difficult for me to wake up and get going. Not today - I got right up, brushed my teeth, took out the trash, and made breakfast and lunch for myself and my wife. While doing these tasks, I looked down at my ring and felt an overwhelming sense of pride, happiness, and a responsibility to be the best husband I could possibly be.

I woke up excited, and invigorated by life, beaming at the prospect of making my wife happy. I got up out of bed, a new man - I've never felt like this before.

And then, I had an unprecedented epiphany. . . I felt the compelling urge to pray.

I went into the room, got on my knees, woke up Carollette and gave thanks to Life for giving me such a beautiful, intelligent, PERFECT wife! I was almost at the verge of tears as I felt this amazing spiritual connection with my wife which I had never felt before with anyone.

This is what I want my marriage to always feel like. I just had to document this time, in case I need to come back for a reminder at some point. . .

Growing more in love every day.

The Day!

So, the day has finally come and gone! It was an amazing success! It surpassed our greatest expectations for how perfect a wedding could be. Despite forecasts for rain and thunderstorms, we persisted, and did not back down. Indeed, the day was the most beautiful one of the entire summer (of course, we may be a little biased :-) )

We just want to thank everyone for coming and celebrating with us, as well as those who wanted to come but couldn't make it. Thank you all for your presence, kind words, prayers, and well-wishes - all are so very greatly appreciated.

We want to extend a very special thank you to those who helped make our Fairytale Wedding vision come to fruition. We have an extremely talented group of friends and family. Without you, this day would not have come together as perfectly as it did. We cannot thank you all enough, and know that a more personal thank you is coming soon!

We love you all so very much! Thanks again!

Thomas and Carollette Phillips

Nervous?? Not me!

35 days until the wedding. Is now the time I should begin to feel nervous? Should the threat of my "impending doom" be taking its toll on my psyche and giving me nightmares at this point?


Yeah...that's not the case.

I HAVE experienced an emotional change, however, but for the better. I'm very excited about The Day. Seems like the closer it gets, the more anticipation I feel for it to arrive. And it's not like "I can't wait for this to be over!" I'm genuinely excited to be marrying the woman of my dreams.

I think it's because I'm very involved in the planning process that I am so emotionally attached as well. It's not just Carollette's wedding - it's just as much mine. This shouldn't be a burden; it's been really fun for me. We've had plenty of sleepless nights (mainly on the invitations), but the finished product, as many of you will soon see, was well worth it to me. Working on this together is truly bringing us closer. I know a few of my boys who are getting married have the "just tell me when to show up" mentality. While I'm not knocking them, I just think they're missing out on an excellent opportunity to grow closer to their ladies.

Events adding to my excitement

I called to check on the marriage license the other day, but they said it becomes null if the marriage isn't performed within 33 days. On Monday it will be exactly 33 days, so I think I'll do it then.

Wednesday we got a phone call that we had gotten the apartment we wanted. We had previously been waitlisted, but got in just the other day. It's the Studio One Apartments on Woodward just south of Warren. Brand new building, and walking distance from Wayne State. Perfect!

I'm officially done with classes as an undergraduate as of Thursday. Now I can focus on landing a really good job and studying for the LSAT. My bachelor's degree was a real monkey on my back for years. Now I have finally successfully killed that annoying primate.

AND I began imagining what the actual day will look like. Don't be late; I'm gonna have a GRAND MAGNIFICENT entrance...can't wait!! :-)

We (Me+Thomas+God) are a team YAY!

So...lately I have begun to feel really stressed with the time window between now and the wedding shortening and the "to do" list getting longer and longer.  For literally months now, we have been struggling to get our list together and mail out the remaining save the dates. Now finally, (with the exception of 11 addresses) it is done! I cannot explain the relief I feel :)

The best part about it is that we worked on it together. Wedding stuff isn't always fun or easy but we stayed up until almost  3 a.m. to get things done. I am really glad he helped instead of taking the typical male, "I just wanna put on a tux and show up", type of attitude. Aside from his creative envelope stuffing and stamp placement, he also pointed out the postage had gone up since we bought stamps. (Such excellent proof that two heads are better than one!) If we would have mailed out all those envelopes with the wrong postage....YIKES! I would have been in tears, no literally tears, when they all came piling back up at my doorstep. Anyhow, he has agreed to take them all to the post office and make sure the correct postage is in place before we mail them so I am really relieved. 

Last night I was feeling such anxiety about all the things that still need to be organized and paid for, I started feeling a lot of tension and pain in my chest. Thomas was kind enough to read some Bible verses to me to kind of help me refocus my mind and de-stress. That really meant a lot to me... I don't know how often he thinks about this but I believe God speaks through people sometimes and last night I think that is what happened because what he read really moved and lifted my spirit in a way that only God can...I know that beyond the wedding planning madness, God has a plan for us and I am truly looking forward to our future together ;) Now if we could just get the invitations ready to go in the next three weeks...Lord have mercy! LOL!

...and it comes to me like an epiphany

I was sitting in the basement today, and saw a picture of my fiancée. I couldn't help but start smiling all goofy and stuff. SO glad no one else was around. I've had this feeling before, but I was finally able to start to put it in words today. I sent her the following texts:

You're still like an unbelievable phenomenon to me. Sometimes I think about you and smile to myself at the fact that I actually got you.

I get to MARRY you! That's [frickin] awesome!

(I think I'ma use that in my vows)

Still considering using that in the vows. . . possibly? Maybe? No? Maybe. . . ;-)

Tuxedo uh. . . non-Mayhem

After reading Carollette's story about the wedding dresses, I feel like I have to share my experience getting the tuxes secured as well.

1.) Asked Best Men Art and Jay for help finding tuxes.
2.) Went to look at tuxes.
3.) Picked a tux.

The end. . . until the bride got involved.

4.) Picked new tuxes.
5.) Liked them better.
6.) Amen.


Is that accurate, Sugars?

Bridesmaids' Dresses Mayhem

Okay, I am a bit of a taskmaster but is it too much to ask to have the bridesmaids wear the dress I have my heart set on? I think not. So with a little persistence and teamwork, the bridesmaid dress debacle was resolved. What debacle you ask....? Keep readin....

After securing my own dress back in September, I immediately started looking for dresses for my bridesmaids. It didn't take long for me to learn that my taste is a bit more expensive than I thought when the dress that I fell in love with turned out to be $560. Yikes! What's a bride to do? Of all the bridesmaid dresses I looked at, the one I finally like costs way too much. So it was on to plan B...find someone to make the dresses.

Getting a reasonable seamstress was a lot easier than I thought it would be. My maid of honor, Brie, had the hook up with the same lady who did her prom dress some years back and she agreed to make the dresses for less than $150. Great! However, there was still the issue of finding the fabric needed for less than $50 so the total cost of the dress wouldn't end up being over $200. This is where things get tricky...

The seamstress informed me that each bridesmaid would need 2 yards of satin, 7 yards of chiffon and one yard of beaded trim to make the dress. Of course, the first beaded trim that I really really liked was too much, $128/yd too much to be exact. Ultimately I found some beaded trim at a decent price, so that left the satin and chiffon. Piece of cake, right? WRONG!

My sister and I scoured two fabric warehouses and finally found a bolt of satin that was not exactly the color I wanted but would work because it was only for the lining. The chiffon on the other hand seemed to be mission impossible. No matter where I looked, I could not find the chiffon I needed. Either it was the wrong color or cost way too much. Finally, I decided to order some samples online and thought I'd found he one I wanted until the fabric arrived...

It was so the wrong clor. ARRRRGH! Apparently, the 3 x 3 in. sample they sent was flame resistant but the 50 yd roll I ordered was non-flame resistant, so it altered the color drastically. The fabric company then informed me that for only another $200 dollars on top of the $300 I had already spent, I could get he 50 yd roll sprayed with the flame resistant treatment to adjust he color and it may or may not return out to be the same color as the sample. What?!

While I was on the verge of breakdown, me and my mother-in-law to be went to Jo-Ann fabrics to find some zippers for the dresses when behold, the fabric of my dreams that had previously cost too much was on sale. YAY I thought, until I learned that the store only had 5 yards of it and the warehouse had discontinued it so it could no longer be ordered. Wow... the fabric gods must have it in for me I thought. But I'm no quitter...

The next day I called every Jo-Ann fabrics in the state of Michigan...no really, I did. Between 6 stores I was able to locate the 45 yards needed to make the dresses. So, me, two bridesmaids, my mom, Thomas's mom and my wedding planner each went to a different store (Novi, Brighton, Madison Heights, Roseville, Allen Park, & Waterford) and picked up whatever the store had left. WOO-HOO! YAY FOR TEAM!!!

So although it was a terrific struggle, I will have the most fantastical bridesmaid dresses ever for under 200 bucks. Praise the Lord!

P.S. - The company that sent me the 50 yd of the wrong color is giving me a full refund and letting me send the fabric back. Ain't God good?

First counseling session

Today was our first marriage counseling session. It went pretty well, although we got there late (and I won't say whose fault it was. . . . . :-P). I was expecting us to be fighting afterwards or something, like a sitcom episode.

Her: You never told me you hated my mother's greens!
Me: Well if you would listen sometimes. . .

etc

But it didn't happen that way. Rev. Reynolds actually said that she thought we had a really good foundation, which would make her job a lot easier lol. I'm actually looking forward to the next one.

We've been doing lots of things to grow closer: reading books, planning this wedding, and just talking a lot more (which was hard for me. . . but i'm getting better lol).

OK that's all for now.

Happy Valentine's Day Sugar!

Start
Pure love created in the heart
Often celebrated, duplicated in the arts
Through representations that will always
fall short
of the feeling
inherent in our chest
or the rest of our anatomy
even when you mad at me,
love rays
shine through. Piercing to
the core of me
Imploring me to give you
more of me
Uncategorically
"yours-to-be," now, forever, &
historically
And to me, it's plain to see -
I always was;
you just wasn't claimin me
Now, famously, we aim to reach
levels that we can't yet see
Love infinite
as beaches' grains you see,
deeper than the rains at sea
Entrenched firmly in
our soul
we're snugly in
Its Hold

Random thought - 03 Feb 2009

We're (I'm) driving to Chicago for Carollette to audition for grad schools (UCLA & NYU) and I just got a random thought:

I'm marrying my best friend! How cool is that???

Answer: Very.

Wedding Planning is Fun...sometimes...

So far, planning the wedding has been an interesting experience. I am glad that we have both been equally involved in the planning process but there's still so much to be done...

First we had a big debacle when trying to secure a wedding venue, reception location and minister. We knew we wanted the Roostertail so we booked that first (It's basically like signing over your soul because once you book there, you are required to pay the full amount whether you have the reception or not. No refunds on anything...) The only dates available for next summer were July 18th and August 29th so we went for the 29th. They give you 7 days to change the date with no penalty which was great, because we were still waiting to find out the pastor's availability.

Next, we decided to have an outdoor ceremony but the vast majority of outdoor venues in the Detroit area require you to have the ceremony and reception together in order to book. The places that would allow us to have the ceremony only cost upwards of $3,000. Yikes! For 30-45 min of use, that was waaaaaaaay outside our budget, not to mention ridiculously expensive even if it was in our budget.

We got really excited when we discovered a beautiful botanical garden downtown on the river, especially because it was really affordable. However, much to our dismay, it wasn't available for the 29th due to the Grand Prix so we booked at the Burgh Garden of Southfield (which is really beautiful too but of course it's not in the city).

And now the plot thickens as the following series of events occurred... #1- Rev. Anthony was not available for the 29th of August, but was available for the 18th of July. #2 - The beautiful garden downtown was also available for the 18th of the July. #3 - The Roostertail would allow us to change the date to July 18th but since we were 13 hours past the 7 day cut-off, it would cost an EXTRA $2000 to switch (WTF?!). #4 - The Grand Prix is now cancelled so the downtown spot is available for Aug. 29th. #5 The deposit for the Southfield garden is non-refundable... Are you seeing a pattern here? And as if things couldn't get anymore frustrating, the photographer we were really hoping to use got booked for Aug 29th, ONE DAY before I called him. AAAARRRRRRGH!

I thought to myself, are the wedding gods punishing us? Is having your wedding on the date you want, where you want it too much to ask? I guess it doesn't really matter because I'm marrying the man of my dreams :-) but I will be really glad when this gets resolved. Right now we are trying to switch back to the garden downtown and get the deposit back from the Southfield so we'll see what happens...Wedding planning is fun YAY!