Addressing negativity. . .

I've noticed two distinct reactions from people when they learn that I'm getting married.

1. They're happy and congratulate me, or they're
   
2. pessimistic and sarcastic.
   

The latter of the two is generally from single (divorced), middle-aged Black men. Their responses generally range from cynicism to full-blown negativity. The typical reaction I get is:

::siiiiigh::, followed by a wide-eyed "Man, you SURE???"

Absolutely.

I find myself taking the high road in this type of situation by not biting when baited. They're looking for a sign of doubt to exploit. You'll find none here.

Just to set the record straight: I am completely happy with my bride to be, and thoroughly excited about our life together. From this point on, I should just not reply to that crap; I'll just redirect them to this post.

Happy 2009.

Progress, not perfection

"Love is all about progress, not perfection."

I heard this line in a song the other day, and it really struck me. I can relate because I have grown so much over the course of our relationship. Carollette has too, but it's more prevalent in me, because frankly, I was way behind.

Perfection is a funny concept to me. I feel like we ARE perfect, for each other. All of our imperfections mesh so creatively, and form the greatest (albeit strange sometimes) chemistry I've ever experienced.

Anyway, progression is definitely one of the keys to our happiness. Growing closer together should be an ongoing process. A stagnant love goes stale. We must constantly find new ways to share our lives and love with each other. By continuing to raise the "love bar," we ensure perpetual progress along the path of love.

This whole blog is something like a diary for me. I want to document how I feel at every point along this road. It'll be fun to look back on this in 5-10 years or so, and track our progress from here :-).

Teamwork

Carollette and I have been talking lately about what makes a good, lasting relationship. One of the things we came up with is teamwork.

We make an absolutely incredible team.

Some of my favorite teams...

We're best friends, both of us are very patient, understanding, and willing to listen to the other. One of the most important characteristics in a good teammate is dependability. She's shown me time and time again that I can depend on her when it counts. This is an invaluable quality.

What brought about this entry is, last week one of our good friends passed away, leaving his wife. They had been married for probably close to 50 years, and were still a very loving couple. They worked in the community together all the time, and made the perfect team. They seemed to truly enjoy each other's company, and I can rarely remember seeing them apart.

Anyway, I say all of this to say that they are a couple whose relationship I would like for us to emulate. I had been looking for an example of what I want our marriage to be, and outside of one or two couples in the family, all the rest had been on TV (shout out the Huxtables).

Not quite sure how to end this...teamwork = good for marriage.

Amen.

My all-time favorite team